Whilst Vanpooverites love a park full of free stink pickles, we wanted to be proactive and throw out some suggestions of how to provide some poop free space without penalising dog owners.

We're going to focus on Hinge Park, principally because that's where we got our dog poop data one overcast weekday last year. The data show that literally hundreds of dog owners use the park everyday (if you take a look at the data bear in mind that only about 25 % of dogs actually crapped in the park). Given that dogs and dog owners are major park users, we do not propose simply stopping them using the park, that would be ridiculous. So what are the alternatives?

Suggestions

Option A

Fence off the northern section of the park, labelled (A), and designate this to be dog free. The dogs can still crap everywhere else.

Pro's:

• Large dog free area.
• Even larger multi-use dog toilet area.
• Keeps the dogs away from the cycle path (yes they're supposed to be on a leash, but they rarely are, more on that in future...).

Cons's:

• Fairly large perimeter that would need fencing. This costs time and money (and the city is broke).
• Solution only works for this summer (because of the moronic planning decision to build on the park — quite the World Cup legacy — more on that in future too!).

Option B

Fence off the small region of land labelled (B) and make this dog free. The dogs can still crap everywhere else.

Pro's:

• Inexpensive; a couple of guys can knock up a bit of fence in no time.
• Can stay in place even if the school goes ahead.

Cons's:

• Pretty small for those summer days when literally hundreds of people use the parks for sunbathing, picnics, ...
• It's near the water, no doubt someone will lose their ball or frisbee...

Option C

This is a bit out-of-the-box: pedestrianise region (C). This road has been partially or completely shut for months during the sewer repair work. The impact on traffic has been negligible. Here in Canada for some reason we think we need roads on all 4 sides of every building. Bonkers.

Pro's:

• Completely changes the character of the area, more in line with the original vision articulated in the False Creek development plan (before morons started picking and choosing which bits they felt like implementing).
• Makes the rarely used central reservation(s) usable space.
• Could be used as either dog free space; a fun place for kids to ride bikes, kick a ball, play. Or, could be a huge dog toilet.

Cons's:

• Someone with a loud voice will complain.
• It's change, and a bit radical, people don't like change.
• Something like this probably needs some bullshit consultation that will take years and never happen, by which point Vanpooverites will probably have evolved into some kind of symbiotic relationship with dog poo rendering the whole endeavour useless.

Option D

Is it a car park? Is it a building site? Is it a dumping ground? Who the hell knows. It could be usable space though: Designate the central reservations in areas (C) and (D) to be dog toilets (some people already use these areas for that). How about sprucing up those bits of land too? Call us crazy, but maybe put down some grass for the pooches (as apparently some dogs can only shit on grass, which is perhaps why their owners insist they take a noisy dump right next to sunbathers).

Pro's:

• Makes better use of space that is poorly utilised.
• Cheap.

Cons's:

• Various people use that land for logistics; parking vans, diggers, dumping things (though we think that's a poor use).
• Using that space puts people and dogs close to vehicles (although, as previously noted, many people already use it as a dog toilet).
• Some park goers may complain that they can't hear or smell dogs taking a shit while they are out enjoying a BBQ in the fine summer weather.

Enforcement

It's all well and good making rules and designating areas, but people ignore existing rules (we will cover lax/non-existent enforcement in Vanpoover in future). If changes were made, they need to be enforced, there needs to be some jeopardy for breaking the rules.

To that end, we propose introducing a bye-law that permits people to bear spray dogs who are found in the dog free areas (and perhaps even their owners if they're repeat offenders). This definitely introduces some jeopardy to violating the rules, and makes for an entertaining family day out.

How you can help

Want some poop free outdoor space? Head over to our how you can help page.